Episode 120: Maybe a Baby? The Adoption Journey
A family building journey may not always be straight forward and easy. And most times those feelings of hope and positivity may fade into confusion and gut-wrenching disappointment. This is what it was like for Claire and Patrick Gibson. As time passed and fertility treatments failed, Claire continued to struggle to find the right answers. However, those answers led to a breath of fresh air, building a family through adoption.
In this episode, Claire discusses her debate over fostering or adopting a child, the experience and difference between domestic and international adoption, and what led her and husband to their decision.
Guest: Claire Gibson, author of Beyond the Point
Host: Lissa Kline, Progyny
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Here are some highlights from this episode:
Claire’s Fertility Journey Comes to an End
11:39 – 12:43
Claire Gibson: As we got deeper and deeper into this forest of infertility, that idea of adoption, always felt like a breath of fresh air. Whenever I thought about it, I felt like at least if we move toward adoption, I don’t have to be on this roller coaster of fertility drugs and in costs that just felt like I was writing checks that would just go out the window. After that first IUI, my husband and I actually were in a pretty dark place in our marriage. We decided to just put everything on hold, focus on our marriage and focus on our relationship. During those months that we focused on our relationship, it became clear that we were both wanting to seek out something different, something that could put us back on the same team and something that could inspire us. We wanted something that would take us out of this roller coaster of fertility treatments that just didn’t feel like was working for us.
17:37 – 18:02
Claire Gibson: It really opened our eyes to just how important it is to be able to welcome a child of any race or welcome a child with any different ability. It kind of opened our hearts to the idea of caring for a child that may not be like us, and obviously not genetically like us, but also maybe had a different culture or a different background or special needs. We just opened our hearts and our minds.
Parental Lessons Learned
32:07 – 32:28
Claire Gibson: That’s one cool thing about going to adoption coming from the experience of infertility. I am very familiar with what grief feels like and when my children have to grapple with their story. I am going to be much better of a parent to be able to empathize with some of the sadness that comes with adoption.
Lissa oversees the Patient Care Advocates and the Provider Relations Team. She worked at Columbia University Medical Center for several years in the division of Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility. Involved in Patient Services and the Donor Egg Program, she loved working with patients while they underwent fertility treatment. Lissa graduated with a Master of Science in Social Work from Columbia University.
Claire’s debut novel, Beyond the Point, was published by HarperCollins and selected as a Book of the Month pick for April 2019. Her writing has been published in The Washington Post, The Christian Science Monitor, Marie Claire, Garden & Gun Magazine, among others. You can find her at www.clairegibson.com or on Instagram @clairecgibson.
Music From This Episode:
Artist: Alpha Hydrae
Track: Keratine rust and a clear soul
Artist: Andy G Cohen
Track: Oxygen Mask
Track: No-End Ave
Track: Clap Your Hands
Artist: Kai Engel
Track: Brand New World
Artist: Lee Rosevere
Track: Small Steps
Artist: Cellophane Sam
Track: Run Hound