This is Infertility is a bi-weekly podcast where we fuse narrative storytelling with experience and science to give you a new perspective on what it’s really like to go through a family building journey. Each episode dives into the emotional, physical, and financial burdens carried by those who experience infertility on their path to parenthood. Be it IVF, IUI, egg freezing, surrogacy, adoption, etc., the path is never the same and it can be long, painful, and lonely. It’s our mission to give those struggling a platform to be heard, a community connection, and an opportunity to raise awareness of the 1 in 6 who, for many reasons, struggle with infertility.
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This is Infertility

Episode 203: Secondary Infertility, Surrogacy, Surprise! — Alex’s Winding Road to Motherhood

For Alex Kornswiet, the path to parenthood started with unexpected ease, having her first son after one round of IVF, following a blocked fallopian tube diagnosis. Trying to have their second child wasn’t as smooth sailing. Alex and her husband experienced secondary infertility and a frustrating path including canceled cycles, recurrent pregnancy loss, and emotional isolation.

As challenges continued to mount, her doctor recommended the couple pursue surrogacy. Amid the pandemic, Alex and her husband welcomed their second son with the help of a selfless surrogate that they could not be more thankful for.

And just when they thought their long path to parenthood had finally come to a close… they encountered one more beautiful yet unexpected surprise! Listen to the episode and see more about Alex’s story on her viral Instagram.

Guest: Alex Kornswiet, Progyny Member and Infertility Advocate

Host: Dan Bulger, Progyny

For more information, visit Progyny’s Podcast page and Progyny’s Education page for more resources. Be sure to follow us on Instagram, @ThisisInfertilityPodcast and use the #ThisisInfertility. Have a question, comment, or want to share your story? Email us at thisisinfertility@progyny.com.

Watch this episode on YouTube: 

Here are some highlights from this episode:

The Beginnings of Family Building

Alex Kornswiet: We had insurance through my husband’s business school, and so we were able to actually jump right into IVF. We were very lucky with that as well. It just went as smoothly as it could have. We got extremely lucky. We got embryos. I got pregnant with a fresh transfer, and we had our first son. In hindsight, I can’t believe it went so smoothly with him, but then it made me think that everything was going to go well.

We started to pursue fertility treatments again… that went very differently than we expected it to. We were at a new clinic, and after about five weeks on medication, my uterine lining just wasn’t growing at all. So, they canceled the cycle. And for anyone who’s ever had a canceled cycle, I did not think it was that big of a deal before it happened to me, I was absolutely devastated when it got canceled. So, then the second time we tried, it got canceled again, and I was again, so devastated, but I was frustrated because the doctor’s office hadn’t changed any part of the protocol but they thought it was just a fluke, because of my experience with my first son, so then, because I had done a fresh transfer with him, they wanted to try that with my second one.

Relentless Secondary Infertility

Alex Kornswiet: We did a fresh transfer in the fall of 2018 and we got a positive pregnancy test. And then about a week later, I confirmed with a blood test that I wasn’t pregnant anymore. I was so low.We just kept getting more and more bad news. And then we had this appointment where we sat down with him afterwards to figure out the next steps. And at that point, he suggested surrogacy. And I was floored by that suggestion.

Dan Bulger: Surrogacy can take a long time, and your experience might be very different than this, but for them, they were actually able to match with the surrogate fairly quickly.

Alex Kornswiet: You could just tell she was this immediately selfless person that just wanted to help. And it was amazing. At this point, it was March of 2020, when she was starting her cycle, which everybody knows is the beginning of the pandemic. She said she was comfortable with it, knowing that she would then have to go to appointments alone at that point because that was a big deal, and we couldn’t go to the transfer, including me. So, she agreed to it, and she got pregnant with our second son, and we were so glad that we had pushed for it.

The Best Surprise

Alex Kornswiet: We thought we were all set, and when my second son was four months old, I felt, this sounds so ridiculous, but I felt like my body didn’t feel good again. And then I was terrified that something else was going on. We got some blood work done, and I got a call. It was a Friday night, and it was like, my husband, I had just sat down. We had a four month old, so he was like, in the room with us, and then my other son was four, and up in bed, my husband had just poured us each like a glass of wine. It’s Friday night. And then I got a call from the clinic, and she said, Oh, congratulations, you’re pregnant. We’re both shocked. And we had our third son in early 2022, and so now we have our three boys.
Dan Bulger

Host

Dan Bulger
Producer at Progyny

Dan has been in the healthcare industry for the past ten plus years as a multimedia content producer. Better known as ‘Video Dan’ he has interviewed numerous doctors, patients and other experts in the world of fertility. He’s also the producer for this podcast, This is Infertility and the producer behind the Progyny YouTube Channel which features interviews with dozens of the nation’s leading fertility specialists. On a personal note Dan’s parents started fostering kids when he was four years old, and he considers himself a proud older brother to over 100 foster children.

Alex Kornswiet

Guest

Alex Kornswiet
Motherhood Coach & Content Creator 

Alex speaks openly about her path to motherhood through infertility, recurrent loss, surrogacy, and more on her social media channels. This journey has also encouraged her to launch her own program, called Embrace Your Motherhood. She helps moms struggling with fear, guilt, and isolation after infertility embrace their motherhood so they can feel less alone and stop justifying their path to becoming a parent. Alex believes that becoming a mom after infertility should celebrate not just having your child, but the strength, resilience, and growth that brought you here!