Updated by the Progyny Editorial Team — November 2025.
Did you know that humans are actually pretty good at dealing with stress? But there’s a catch: we’re built for short-term stress. When it lasts long-term and keeps piling on, we just don’t have time to bounce back, and we may lose our sense of control.
This is why the fertility journey can be so emotionally exhausting. It’s filled with unpredictable personal stress over a long time. All the while, you’re still dealing with relationships, work, news events, and life in general.
Signs of emotional exhaustion
Long-term stress triggers constant adrenaline (your fight or flight hormone), so your body is always on alert. At the same time, it uses up serotonin (your mood-stabilizing hormone), so it’s harder to cope.
This leaves you emotionally exhausted. Signs include:
- Smiling less often
- Sleep problems
- Difficulty socializing
- Startling easily
- Feeling irritable
- Feeling anxious
- Crying more easily
It only takes one of these signs to know you’re emotionally exhausted!
Dwelling on the past, worrying about the future
When we’re stressed, we naturally dwell on the past and worry about the future. With fertility, it’s common to wonder if we did something wrong, and what we can do to fix it. But you can’t control the past or future, and it keeps you from being present in the current moment.
On top of that, not everyone feels comfortable talking about their journey and it’s easy to feel isolated and alone. If you’re trying to be strong to support your partner, or are culturally conditioned not to show emotion, you may have an even tougher time.
Strategies to beat emotional exhaustion
1. Underwhelm yourself.
Typically, there aren’t enough hours in the day — we’re overbooked, sleep-deprived, and stressed.
This is why it’s so important to underwhelm yourself. Practice saying “no,” before you reach your breaking point. There’s absolutely no need to feel guilty or like you’re making excuses. You’re simply taking care of yourself the way you take care of other people.
2. Retrain your mind not to worry.
We are wired to worry. It takes practice to retrain your mind to let go of the worry. A few ideas that can help:
- Use a mantra like “it will be what it will be” to let go of what you cannot control.
- Add pleasure into your life. You can’t feel two opposite things at the same time. Deep breathing and stretching bring about feelings of relaxation, not tension. And doing something you truly enjoy brings you into the present moment, away from past or future worries.
- Keep a gratitude mindset. Focus on what you have and what you’re grateful for each day. A quick gratitude journal to start or end your day can be a simple way to do this.
3. Seek support.
Having a support system is essential for dealing with stress on your fertility journey.
Even one person to share with (outside your partner, if you have one) can make a big difference. If you can find someone who’s been through a similar journey, it can be so helpful to talk to someone who really understands what you’re going through.
At the same time, everyone has their own comfort level with sharing personal information. And it’s always a good idea to be thoughtful about who you tell. If someone gives unwelcome advice or asks questions you’re not comfortable with, it’s perfectly OK to let them know you don’t want to talk about it.
For a deeper dive on emotional exhaustion, watch Progyny’s webinar in honor of May being Mental Health Awareness month. Featuring:
- Dr. Georgia Witkin, Director of Member Services at Progyny, Assistant Professor of OB-GYN and Reproductive Sciences and Assistant Clinical Professor at Mount Sinai
- Cassandra Pratt, Chief Human Resources Offer at Progyny
- Justin Smith, VP of Client Success at Progyny