Updated by the Progyny Editorial Team — December 2025.
Facing challenges on your family-building journey can put strain on any relationship. The financial, emotional, and physical aspects of fertility treatment can affect how you connect with your partner, family, and friends.
We spoke with Dr. Alice Domar, a health psychologist who specializes in fertility care. Dr. Domar answered some of the most frequently asked questions about relationships, boundaries, and strategies to check in on yourself and your partner.
1. How can I set boundaries and build supportive communication with family and friends?
Setting boundaries is personal. Some people talk openly about every step of treatment. Others prefer to keep details private. Think about what you’re comfortable sharing and what you’d like to keep to yourself.
It can help to prepare simple, repeatable responses to questions or comments that feel uncomfortable. Your response can be polite (“I’m not comfortable discussing this”), educational (“Infertility is common, and causes can be male or female”), or direct (“I’m not sure why you’re asking that”).
Family and friends may offer support, especially if they’ve had similar experiences, but they may also give unsolicited advice. Some people email loved ones to set expectations. For example: “When we have news to share, we’ll reach out. Please avoid asking if we’re pregnant.”
2. How can I support my partner?
Ask what they need. Often both partners are affected, even if only one has a medical diagnosis. One strategy: each partner writes a list of 10 things the other can do on a difficult day. When the moment comes, you can choose something from the list—whether it’s giving space, offering comfort, or helping with small tasks.
3. How can I check in with myself?
It’s normal to have ups and downs throughout treatment. If you feel persistently sad, overwhelmed, or unlike yourself for more than a week or two, you may benefit from additional support. Options include support groups, talking with someone who has been through infertility, checking resources through the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, or asking your doctor for guidance.
4. What helps couples maintain their relationship during treatment?
Talking regularly can help you stay connected. Many couples experience infertility differently, so avoid pressuring each other to feel the same way. Try setting aside a few minutes each day to check in. Outside of that time, it may help to keep fertility conversations from taking over the rest of your life together.
5. What if I’m experiencing secondary infertility and feel uncomfortable joining support groups?
Secondary infertility can be just as distressing as primary infertility. Look for a group specifically for people with secondary infertility or choose one that includes more than one participant with similar experiences.
6. What if I’m scared to tell someone what I’m going through?
Sharing information about your diagnosis is your choice. No one is entitled to details you don’t want to share. Telling a manager or supervisor may feel especially stressful. Infertility is recognized as a disease by the World Health Organization, so you can frame the conversation around seeking support or treatment for a medical condition.
7. How can I put these suggestions into practice?
You might try:
- Accepting that you and your partner may cope differently
- Limiting fertility-related conversations to a set time each day
- Avoiding social events that feel emotionally difficult
- Encouraging your partner to read others’ stories to understand common reactions to infertility
8. If therapy isn’t an option, what other resources can help?
You can:
- Join an online support group through your clinic
- Talk with a friend or relative who understands the experience
- Have a single session with a reproductive mental health professional for coping strategies
9. How can I manage expectations for my relationship after treatment?
There’s no guaranteed return to “normal,” regardless of the outcome. Research shows that couples who face infertility together often maintain strong relationships, and many report feeling closer after navigating challenges as a team.
How you manage your relationships throughout treatment will look different from others and that’s okay. The goal is to find what feels right for you and the people you care about.
Progyny is here for you if you have any questions. Please contact your Progyny Care Advocate for support.
Disclaimer: The information provided by Progyny is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider for medical guidance.