Updated by the Progyny Editorial Team — October 2025.
It takes a village to build any family. If you’re dealing with the isolation that can come with infertility, support becomes even more essential.
Support looks different for everyone because we all have our own unique needs, circumstances, feelings, and networks. Our needs change over time, and so does our village.
Whether you feel like you have the support you need or could use more, these tips will help you build or strengthen your village.
Identify who (and what) you need
It’s great to consider a range of people who can help you. Not everyone will be well suited to help with everything, and that’s OK!
For example, a close family member will love you unconditionally but might not deeply understand your fertility journey. A supportive manager might help immensely with your work-life balance, even if you can’t turn to them for a venting session.
Think about what you need. Someone to listen? Talk through solutions? Take your mind off things? Help you at home, or at work? Advice from someone who’s been there?
Who can be there for you on short notice when you need it? And who’s good to have available for specific needs?
Your village might include people like:
- Your partner
- Family
- Friends
- Colleagues
- Counselor or therapist
- Religious or spiritual leader
- Healthcare team
- Progyny Care Advocate
How to ask for support
To get support, you’ll need to open up about what you’re going through. And often, it’s so helpful to simply ask for what you need. This can feel challenging if you’re used to keeping your fertility journey private.
If that sounds like you, consider:
- Joining a support group (in person or online). These groups provide a safe and positive place to share in whatever detail you feel comfortable. The national organization RESOLVE offers peer-led and professionally-led support groups virtually and in-person.
- Practice sharing with one person. For example, sit down with your partner or close friend for 10 minutes. For 5 minutes, talk about what you need and how you feel. For the next 5, they’ll do the same while you listen quietly. This gives a chance for direct, uninterrupted sharing.
Other tips for asking for help:
- Tell them specifically how they can help. Often, people want to help but don’t know how.
- Set boundaries so the person knows how much and how often you want to share.
- Adjust boundaries as the relationship changes. For example, if someone isn’t respecting your boundaries, you can say something like, “I would appreciate talking about my fertility journey with you, but not every time you call.”
Your village can always change. If someone isn’t making you feel supported or heard, it’s okay to limit your contact with them. Your support network should be respectful, reliable, and non-judgmental.
Finding support at work
Setting boundaries at work is different than personal relationships.
Telling only a small number of colleagues can be a good idea — you need to feel safe with whoever you tell at work. Ideally, coworkers and managers will be empathetic. At a minimum, they need to understand why you might have special requests.
Clearly communicating what you need and the level of privacy you want is helpful for you and your employer. You might say things like:
- “I need more flexibility to work from home for the next 2 weeks.”
- “I would appreciate this not getting around. Please keep this between the two of us.”
Along with your manager, you can also look for employee resource groups for people going through family-building journeys. Your Progyny Care Advocate is a great resource, as well.
To learn more about building a supportive village, watch Progyny’s webinar in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, April 24-30, 2022. Featuring:
- Amanda Lesesne, VP, Sales, Progyny
- Arielle Spiegel, CoFertility
- Elizabeth Marshall, Creating Arizona Families
- Carolyn Berger, LCSW