Updated by the Progyny Editorial Team — December 2025.
Adoption is a meaningful way to grow your family, and every journey is unique. While the process can feel overwhelming, knowing what to expect and getting accurate information can help you feel confident and prepared.
Common misconceptions
There are a few common misconceptions around adoption:
- Adoption is only for infertile couples. Many people assume adoption is only an option when someone can’t have biological children. Adoption is chosen for many reasons, including personal, financial, or family circumstances. Singles, LGBTQ+ individuals, and people with children may also pursue adoption.
- Adopted children are “damaged” or have severe behavioral issues. While some children may have experienced trauma, many are healthy and thriving. Supportive environments, early interventions, and informed parenting help children adjust and flourish.
- Adoption always involves long waits. Wait times vary depending on the type of adoption, the child’s age, and the agency. Some families may be matched within months, while others may wait longer.
Types of adoption
It’s important to know the different paths to adoption and how they may align with your family’s needs:
- Private domestic adoption: Adopting an infant through a licensed agency or attorney in the U.S.
- International adoption: Adopting a child, often a toddler or older, from another country. Check whether the country is part of the Hague Adoption Convention, which provides safeguards for all parties.
- Foster-to-adopt: Fostering a child in the U.S. with the possibility of adopting them later.
Key considerations include the child’s age and health, prenatal history, state laws around termination of parental rights, wait times, openness of the adoption (open, semi-open, or closed), and estimated costs. Many states and agencies explicitly support LGBTQ+ adoption, though requirements vary.
Choosing an adoption agency or attorney
Finding the right adoption partner is critical for your experience and the child’s well-being. Ask questions such as:
- Compliance and credentials: Is the agency fully licensed? Do they have a relationship with your state’s Department of Social Services? Is there a licensed attorney on staff?
- Fees and costs: What is the total cost? Are payments due upfront or staggered? Are there fees for the home study? Is a full cost breakdown provided in writing?
- Eligibility criteria: Do age, marital status, health history, family size, gender identity, or religious affiliation affect your eligibility?
- The waitlist: How long is the typical wait? How is the list managed and updated?
- Open vs. closed adoption: What level of openness do they offer, and how is communication facilitated between families?
- Counseling and support: Are counseling services available for both adoptive and birth families? Are they licensed or certified?
Additional tips:
- Read reviews and speak with families who have used the agency.
- Be cautious of promotional materials promising short timelines; adoption timelines vary.
- Choose an agency or attorney you feel comfortable contacting outside regular hours, as adoption often requires flexibility.
Adoption logistics
Adoption involves paperwork, legal support, and practical steps:
- There’s no standard timeline; matching may take months to years.
- Documentation moves the process forward. Your agency will guide you.
- A reliable legal team helps navigate challenges and ensures your rights and responsibilities are clear.
- A home study includes interviews and a review of your living environment. This process usually takes several months and ensures the safety and fit of your home for a child.
Costs
Costs vary by adoption type. Domestic newborn adoptions can range from $30,000 to $60,000, while foster-to-adopt may involve lower or no fees. Talk with each agency about all costs, including upfront fees, ongoing expenses, and any coverage for birth parent costs.
Preparing for your child’s arrival
Once matched, preparation is both practical and emotional:
- Check your home for safety and complete any required training (e.g., trauma-informed care or attachment strategies).
- Coordinate parental leave with your employer.
- Gather age-appropriate essentials such as clothing, bedding, and car seats.
- Seek support from family, friends, or a counselor to navigate your transition to parenthood.
Final thoughts
Adoption is a deeply personal and rewarding journey. No two experiences are alike, but with accurate information, thoughtful planning, and the right support, you can move forward confidently. Take the time to choose the right agency, understand the process, and prepare both practically and emotionally for your growing family.
If you have questions, Progyny is here for you. Please contact your Progyny Care Advocate for support.
Disclaimer: The information provided by Progyny is for educational purposes only and is not legal advice. Always consult a lawyer for legal guidance.