Updated by the Progyny Clinical Team — October 2025.
Talking with your healthcare provider about fertility can feel overwhelming — appointments often feel rushed, and the topic is deeply personal. But with preparation and clarity, you can enter the conversation as an informed partner in your care.
Prepare for your appointment
- Bring a concise health summary: your medical history, menstrual cycle details, and any previous pregnancies or losses.
- Gather your vaccination records and think through your family medical history, including your partner’s.
- Write down questions and goals so you don’t forget them during your appointment.
Who to talk to first
You can start the conversation with either your primary care provider (PCP) or your OB-GYN — it depends on where you feel most comfortable and how complex your questions are.
- Start with your PCP if you want to discuss your overall health and readiness for pregnancy. They can help review medications, manage chronic conditions (like thyroid disease, diabetes, or high blood pressure), check your vaccines, and order basic lab work.
- See your OB-GYN if you’re ready to talk specifically about reproductive health — such as your menstrual cycle, ovulation, birth control history, or previous pregnancies. OB-GYNs can also order fertility labs, perform pelvic exams or ultrasounds, and refer you to a reproductive endocrinologist (fertility specialist) if needed.
- Begin with a reproductive endocrinologist if you already know you may face fertility challenges — such as irregular periods, endometriosis, PCOS, or a history of miscarriage.
If you’re not sure where to begin, start with the provider who knows your health history best. They can coordinate your next steps or refer you to a specialist when appropriate.
Key questions to ask your provider
Coming prepared with questions helps you make the most of your time and ensures your care plan fits your goals. Consider asking:
- What steps can I take to improve my fertility through lifestyle changes?
- What testing should my partner and I complete before trying to conceive?
- How soon after stopping birth control might I be able to get pregnant?
- Do I have any health conditions that could affect my ability to conceive?
- Are my vaccinations up to date, and should I be screened for infections?
- When should I see a fertility specialist if I haven’t conceived after trying on my own?
- Could any of my medications affect fertility or pregnancy safety?
- My mother had several miscarriages. Does that raise my risk, and what can I do to reduce it?
- When should I start taking prenatal vitamins or folic acid?
Having your questions written down can help you stay focused and feel confident during the visit.
During the appointment
Even when you’re well prepared, it’s easy to feel rushed or unsure in the moment. A few communication strategies can help you stay focused and confident:
- Make eye contact and take brief notes.
- Ask if you can use your phone’s notes app to record key points.
- After explanations, restate what you heard (“So, if I understand correctly…”) to confirm clarity.
- If you feel rushed, pause and say, “I’d like to go back to a question I had earlier.”
Your provider should respond with patience, respect, and a clear plan you can follow.
If you don’t feel heard
Even when you come prepared and ask thoughtful questions, you may still feel that your provider isn’t listening to or addressing your concerns. If that happens:
- Pause and restate your concern. Try: “I want to make sure I understand your recommendation,” or “I still feel unsure about what this means for me.”
- Ask for a follow-up appointment or referral. If you need more time or expertise, request another visit or ask for a referral to see a reproductive endocrinologist, if your insurance requires a referral.
- Bring a support person. A partner, friend, or family member can help you feel supported and ensure important details aren’t missed.
- Document your visit. Take notes or send yourself a summary email afterward to track next steps.
- Seek a second opinion. You deserve compassionate, evidence-based care. A new provider may offer different insights or a better fit.
If you ever feel dismissed, you have the right to find a provider who listens to and partners with you. Feeling heard is part of quality fertility care.
Advocate for yourself
Fertility can feel unpredictable, but knowledge is one of your strongest tools. Think of yourself not just as a patient, but as an active participant in your care. Ask what you need to understand your body and your options — as many times as it takes.
Progyny is here for you. Please contact your Progyny Care Advocate for support.
Disclaimer: The information provided by Progyny is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider for medical guidance.