Updated by the Progyny Editorial Team — September 2025.
There are many paths to building a family. For many, adoption is the one that feels right. Each year, about 135,000 children are adopted in the United States.
While the process can feel overwhelming, understanding your options and knowing what to expect can help you move forward with more confidence. Below, we outline the key elements of adoption, including the types of adoption, eligibility considerations, how to choose an agency, and how to prepare for your child’s arrival.
Types of adoption
It’s important to understand the different types of adoption and how they may align with your family’s needs and values.
- Private domestic adoption typically involves adopting an infant through a licensed agency or attorney in the U.S.
- International adoption involves adopting a child — often a toddler or older — from another country.
- Foster-to-adopt involves fostering a child in the U.S. with the possibility of adopting them later.
Key considerations may include:
- Age and health of the child
- Drug or alcohol exposure to the child
- Prenatal history and health of the birth parent(s)
- State laws around the termination of parental rights
- Wait time before placement
- Level of openness (open, semi-open, or closed adoption)
- Estimated out-of-pocket costs
Note: International adoptions have declined significantly in recent years. If you’re considering this route, check whether the country is part of the Hague Adoption Convention, which provides safeguards for all parties.
State laws and agency policies may also consider criteria such as age, marital status, sexual orientation, or other factors. Many states and agencies explicitly support LGBTQ+ adoption, but requirements vary.
Choosing an adoption agency or attorney
Once you’ve decided adoption is the right path, your next step is choosing a reputable, fully licensed adoption agency or attorney. Finding the right partner is critical — not only for your experience, but also for the well-being of the child.
With this process, there are a lot of questions to ask when evaluating agencies or attorneys:
Compliance with state regulations
- Is there a licensed attorney on staff?
- For agencies: What is their relationship with your state’s Department of Social Services?
- Does the agency or law office have any negative records with the state bar or licensing body?
Fees and expenses
- What is the total cost of the process?
- Are payments due upfront or staggered over time?
- Are birth parent expenses covered, and what is the typical amount?
- Is pricing on a sliding scale or flat rate?
- Is there a separate fee for the home study?
- Will you receive a full cost breakdown before signing an agreement?
Eligibility criteria
Each agency or attorney may set unique guidelines. Ask how your background may affect eligibility or wait time.
- Do you qualify based on marital or relationship status, age, health history, family size, or socioeconomic background?
- Does religious affiliation, gender identity, or military service factor into eligibility?
- What screening procedures are required for adoptive families?
The wait list
- How long is the typical wait time?
- How is the list managed and updated?
- What factors affect how long you wait for a match?
- How many placements has the agency/attorney completed this year?
Open vs. closed adoption
- Do they offer open, closed, or semi-open adoptions?
- How does the agency facilitate communication between birth and adoptive families?
The child
- Can you request certain characteristics, such as age, race, or sex?
- Are you open to adopting siblings?
- Would you consider adopting a child with special needs?
The birth parents
- How are birth parents located and supported?
- What screening is done for birth parents?
- Are both parents supportive of the adoption plan?
- How are matches between families made?
- Is the pregnant person provided with their own attorney for the relinquishment?
- What happens if a birth parent changes their mind?
- Can you decline an opportunity that doesn’t feel like the right fit?
Counseling and emotional support
- What counseling services are available for adoptive and birth families?
- Are counselors licensed or certified?
- Does counseling include discussion of non-adoption options for birth parents?
- Are these services free for birth parents and available for adoptive families?
Communication and support
- Is 24/7 support available for birth parents?
- How often will you receive updates?
- What is the preferred method of communication?
- How quickly should you expect responses?
Preparing for your child’s arrival
Once you’ve been matched, you’ll want to prepare both practically and emotionally.
- Ask your HR team about adoption-related parental leave and how to coordinate time off.
- Make sure your home meets safety requirements. Agencies often provide a checklist.
- Many agencies offer or require adoptive parent training to prepare you for attachment, trauma-informed care, and navigating open adoption.
- Gather age-appropriate essentials, such as clothing, bedding, car seats, and other items based on the child’s needs.
- Talk with family, friends, or a counselor about your transition to parenthood and what support you may need.
Final thoughts
Adoption is a deeply personal and rewarding process. No two experiences are exactly alike, but with the right information, resources, and support, you can move forward with confidence.
If you have questions or concerns, Progyny is here for you. Please contact your Progyny Care Advocate for support.
Disclaimer: The information provided by Progyny is for educational purposes only and is not legal advice. Always consult a lawyer for legal guidance.