Episode 27: Becoming a Single Parent by Choice
What do you do when you feel ready to have a baby, but your circumstances might not agree? You might not have found the person yet, or you are in a relationship, but your partner isn’t on the same page when it comes to family building. So, what do you do?
In today’s episode, we hear from Tania, who always wanted to be a mother, but found herself in her 30’s, single, and realizing she was running out of time. Tania decided she was done holding onto the traditional expectations she had for her life and made the choice to be a single parent. She discusses the challenges she faced in her love life, and how she eventually shifted her focus from dating to family building.
Like Tania, Jennifer Cruz found herself dating for the wrong reasons, trying to find a father for her child rather than someone she genuinely felt a connection with. Jennifer decided to follow her dream of becoming a mother and decided to pursue IUI, which successfully got her pregnant with her son.
Through their journeys, both Tania and Jennifer discovered a community of like-minded women called Single Mothers by Choice. In this episode, we learn about the journey of becoming a single parent by choice, the importance of having a community, and what it takes to run one.
Guests: Tania and Jennifer Cruz, members of Single Mothers by Choice
Host: Melissa Maldonado, Implementation Manager at Progyny
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Melissa has a passion for healthcare and the focus on high quality care. She began her career at Progyny as a Patient Care Advocate (PCA) where she worked with many members to achieve their family building goals. She later was promoted to Patient Care Supervisor where she oversaw the Patient Care Advocate team. Today, Melissa is committed to working with Progyny’s employers to seamlessly implement the Progyny benefit for their employees.
After 38 years looking for Prince Charming, Tania decided to go it alone and make her dream of being a Mother come true. The process was overwhelming, heartbreaking, financially terrifying but eventually successful! Her son is now 2 years old. Tania works in the service industry and also mentors other women who are thinking about or trying to become single mothers by choice. You can learn more about her journey, here.
Jennifer was 29 years old when she realized that she had to separate the ideas of finding a man she wanted to marry and having a child. It was clear that she had all her life to find love, but not to be a mother. So she embarked on the journey to become a Single Mother by Choice. As an early childhood special education teacher, she knew that kids were her life and that she was destined to be a mother.
In April 2015 her dream finally came true as she welcomed her beautiful son. He became the love of her life. Shortly after he was born the SMC NYC chapter was endangered of disappearing as there was no longer a chairperson. Knowing how much attending these meetings had helped support her SMC journey, she decided to step up and continue the meetings. This would allow her to give back the same support she felt throughout her process. Going with her son would show others that being a single mother by choice was manageable.
Through these meetings, many have seen her son grow up and she has seen other SMCs move through the stages to realize their dreams. She continues to provide hope and encouragement to any woman who wants to take on this journey of being a mother on her own.
Music From This Episode:
Artist: Lee Rosevere
Track: The Secret to Growing Up
Track: And So Then
Track: Making A Change
Track: I Bet You Wonder Why
Artist: Philipp Weigl
Track: Western Shores