Written by the Progyny Editorial Team — September 2025.
Working parents have a LOT to manage. It’s common to feel guilty about how you’re doing with it all — whether you’re just going back after welcoming a baby or you’ve been a working parent for years.
This guilt can go both ways: feeling bad that you’re not spending more time with your little one, and like you’re not doing enough at work.
Reframing how you think can help you lessen these feelings of guilt. And support is available to help if you need it.
Name your thoughts
The first step to managing guilt is becoming aware of what you’re thinking. We have a lot of thoughts that happen automatically, without us even realizing it. Some common ones include:
- “I’m feeling guilty that I’ll be spending less time with the baby when I go back to work full-time.”
- “I feel bad that I’m not always going to be the one to comfort them or teach them new things.”
- “I feel like I’m not as committed as everyone else at work when I leave to pick up my child.”
Reframe your thoughts
You might notice many of your thoughts include “shoulds” or “all-or-nothing” thinking. That type of thinking leads to unrealistic pressure.
Fortunately, you can practice responding differently. You are compassionate for others — can you show that same kindness to yourself?
Here are some ways to reframe those negative thoughts:
- “I’m doing my best.”
- “Being a working parent is a big job and I’m proud of my accomplishments.”
- “My work is aligned with my values and our family goals.”
- “My role at home and at work are both important. I will give myself grace as I adjust to my new normal.”
Use strategies to feel better
- Keep a gratitude journal: Every morning, start your day by jotting down 3 things you feel grateful for.
- Connect with others: Talking with other parents at work or in your community can help you learn and feel supported.
- Be present: Do one thing at a time. At home, put away screens and anything that reminds you of pressure from work.
- Practice self-care: You matter! You are allowed to say no, take time for self-care, and do less so you can focus more.
Get help when you need it
Identifying your guilt and exploring why you feel this way is a good start.
But we know it can be really hard to change how you think. Working with a therapist can be a great help managing negative thoughts and guilt. Talk with your Progyny Care Advocate or Employee Assistance Program (EAP) for help getting connected to support in your area.
Remember, you’re not alone — and you’re doing a great job.
