Episode 175: Unexplained Infertility, Diminished Ovarian Reserve, and Switching Doctors
Struggling with disbelief, enduring back-to-back treatments, cancelled appointments, and an overwhelming emotional toll – these experiences are all part of Sonya Heer’s journey to building a family. How did she get here? Sonya and her husband embarked on what most couples do: they got married, spent some quality time together, and then wanted to expand their family. But, after months of not having success, Sonya turned to a specialist where she was diagnosed with unexplained infertility. This left Sonya with more questions, but she persevered and continued treatment. After more rounds, she realized there must be something else to her diagnosis.
In this episode, hear how Sonya navigated her journey, how she advocated for herself and found the right doctor, how unexplained infertility turned into diminished ovarian reserve, and why despite it all she continued. Sonya also shares the stress of paying for treatment and the difference when she gained access to a comprehensive family building benefit through her employer.
Guest: Sonya Heer, Progyny Member
Host: Dan Bulger, Progyny
For more information, visit Progyny’s Podcast page and Progyny’s Education page for more resources. Be sure to follow us on Instagram, @ThisisInfertilityPodcast and use the #ThisisInfertility. Have a question, comment, or want to share your story? Email us at thisisinfertility@progyny.com.
This episode is also a video! Watch it here:
Here are some highlights from this episode:
Beautiful & Frustrating — Unexplained Infertility
00:39 – 06:18
Sonya Heer: That beautiful, but also frustrating, unexplained infertility. At first, I was excited because there was nothing wrong. But the longer you are on that journey, you want something to solve. And that wasn’t the case at first.
Dan Bulger: Challenging as it was, the couple moved ahead with IVF. IVF is a treatment option for fertility that comes with very good success rates. And of course, the goal with any IVF cycle is to have a healthy baby. But IVF is also an opportunity for your doctor to learn a few things that they weren’t able to look into during the initial rounds of testing. During IVF, an unexplained infertility diagnosis might change into something else. In total, they did five rounds of IVF at that clinic, without any positive results.
Sonya Heer: I’m talking to my doctor, I’m like, at a breaking point, where do we go from here? I research there’s this clinic, that takes on a lot of very hard cases. So, I asked my doctor because at this point, we’re thinking I have diminished ovarian reserve. Because I don’t produce a lot. My quality is not great. He’s like, listen, I want you guys to have success, I don’t have any more tricks in my tool bag, see if they’re accepting patients.
When the Doctor Makes the Difference
06:21 – 08:03
Dan Bulger: Switching doctors in between rounds of IVF can sometimes be a bit inconvenient. And there are certainly instances where you really are better off staying with your doctor. Now that she was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve, not unexplained infertility, it would increase her chances if she went to a clinic that specialized in diminished ovarian reserve. So, they switched to this new clinic for another round of IVF.
Sonya Heer: And it worked. And it’s kind of an unreal moment, like, I’ve never gotten that call before, you know, we’ve done six protocols. And that’s the first time we got that call. And we immediately Face Timed our parents, because the funny thing about IVF there’s no like, oh, we’ll do a like a reveal, you know, a timed like some sort of surprise, everyone’s waiting on that call. Everybody knows what you’ve been doing right. So, we told our parents right away.
Employers Who Invest in YOU
08:16 – 13:50
Sonya Heer: Then pen comes to paper, and you start paying for it, the stress goes up. Mentally, you know you’re doing it. But now we’re handing over the credit card. I remember leading up to the payment days, it was getting really stressful. I remember we had talked about how I would want to go back to where we had success, right? I don’t want to stay local. I don’t want to try different clinics, even local, I want to go where we know we have had success. And that’s more expensive than some local clinics.
I remember being pregnant at an HR Summit. And they were announcing some of the changes that were going to be happening in the next year to our benefits and that they were adding a fertility benefit. And I remember when this was being announced, I remember my director of recruiting at the time looking across the table at me. And we both smiled at each other because she knew what I had gone through. And I know that she was part of the discussions that brought in this benefit. And I remember thinking, this is awesome. And it was, they were amazing benefits. It wasn’t just, you know, a one-time lifetime, wherever you go. It’s the kind of coverage that I can’t even describe the message it sent to me as an employee on how Delta Dental was investing in me as a person. I actually, have told them this multiple times. Just because I am so thankful that they added this benefit for their employees, they truly, Delta Dental truly cares about their employees beyond work, their personal life, their family. And it’s one thing to say it, and it’s another to show it and to me, offering a unique benefit like this demonstrates their commitment to me as a person, having the ability to offer this to employees is incredible. It’s incredible.
