At Progyny, we are proud to support all paths to parenthood and celebrate the many ways we build our families. In honor of Pride Month, we hosted a discussion about different LGBTQ+ family building options. This conversation included experts in the space, along with the personal experiences of those navigating their own journey.
This webinar featured:
When exploring different paths to parenthood as either an individual or a couple, there are many options to consider. An important place to start is identifying the clinic and doctor that is right for you. As part of the LGBTQ+ community, it is important to find a doctor and clinic that offer LGBTQ+ affirming care and take the time to find a care team that aligns with your family building goals. If you are a Progyny member you can use our provider search tool to help find a clinic. All Progyny in-network providers are vetted to be LGBTQ+ friendly and PCAs can help members find a provider that’s right for you and your family building goals.
Once you find the clinic and doctor that work best for you, the next step is scheduling your initial consultation where you and your doctor will discuss your medical history, go through any testing that is required, and discuss potential paths to parenthood. If you are an individual or in a same-sex couple that wants to have genetically related children, your path will include either donor sperm or donor eggs. Paths to parenthood involving donor tissue include:
There are so many different options for individuals or couples in the LGBTQ+ community who are looking to grow their family. While the options listed above all include donor tissue options, there is another option to build the family – adoption. Similarly to surrogacy, this journey requires many steps along the way. Learn more here about what to expect throughout the process and key considerations.
Some individuals and couples already know the path they want to explore to build their family, but it can still help to have a conversation with your doctor to understand all your options. There is a lot to consider before deciding what might be right for you, whether that is through a financial aspect, how many medications or procedures someone is willing to go through, and if a couple wants both partners to be a part of the process. With all these decisions, the journey may take a little longer, so it is important to have patience and acknowledge the path may not be completely linear.
Building a family involves making many decisions along the way. After choosing the path that is right for you and identifying your clinic and provider, other decisions as related to your specific journey may include choosing donor sperm or eggs, identifying an adoption agency, or matching with a surrogate.
An important early decision for relevant paths to parenthood is identifying which intended parent’s sperm or eggs will be used. Often this is decided before meeting with a provider and makes moving forward to the next step quicker. However, your provider can also talk you through your options and help you decide how to proceed. If using an unknown donor, you will have to identify an egg or sperm bank. Your clinic will be able to refer you to some different sperm or egg banks for you to purchase tissue and Progyny members can also explore our in-network banks.
To help you select which sperm or eggs to purchase, the bank will have different resources available from each donor such as voice recordings, baby pictures, individual and family medical history, genetic information, and other descriptive information. Selecting donor tissue is a personal decision and everyone has their own priorities for what they are looking for but some questions you may ask yourself are:
Once the donor tissue is selected, if you are the person with ovaries planning to carry the child you will proceed with treatment, otherwise others may proceed with the surrogacy journey.
Explore this quick video to learn more about what to look for in an egg or sperm donor.
If you go through the surrogacy process, there will be more important decisions to make. After picking out the donor tissue and creating an embryo, you will need to also choose which surrogacy agency and gestational carrier will work alongside you during the journey. Your fertility clinic may have referrals for surrogacy agencies and all Progyny members can reach out to their PCA for vetted referrals. Surrogacy agencies provide different levels of services which can include gestational matching and screening, case management, support, counseling, legal services, and more. During the process both the gestational carrier and parent(s) will need to undergo psychological evaluations and obtain separate legal counsel to create a surrogacy agreement. When thinking about your timelines it’s important to factor in that surrogacy can be a lengthy process and there are many factors that can impact the journey.
To learn more about the surrogacy process, check out this resource: Understanding the Surrogacy Process | Progyny
Adoption can also be a lengthy process with many decision points along the way. All Progyny members have access to adoption coaches that can provide insight into the process, legal considerations, average costs, the various pathways, and agency referrals. Some of the key decisions to make along the way include deciding between an international or domestic adoption, selecting an agency and lawyer, and matching with a family. Having a list of questions is a great place to start to understand your priorities and to help you vet through the process.
Although each process can feel overwhelming at times, these decisions help you take a step closer to building your family, and Progyny is always here to support you along the way.
To learn more about the adoption process, listen to an episode from our podcast, This Is Infertility: Episode 120: Maybe a Baby? The Adoption Journey | Progyny
The family building journey often comes with many unknowns and it is important to have a village that will support.
If you are a Progyny member, your PCA is a great resource to provide support during this time. They are trained to support all paths to parenthood and can provide clinical guidance and also emotional support. In addition to your PCA, if you are going through an adoption or surrogacy journey or just have questions about the process, you will have access to Progyny’s adoption and surrogacy coaches (who are available to all Progyny members).
In addition to your Progyny and clinical team, many find social media to be a great resource to find community. Social media allows you to connect with others who are going on similar journeys and can help you feel less alone in the process. In addition to exploring others’ stories through hashtags, there are Facebook groups that can help connect you with people who are on the same path to parenthood. While social media is a great opportunity to meet people, it is important to not compare your journey to others as they are all unique.
Looking for additional resources and support throughout your journey? Check out these resources:
Interested in sharing your story to help raise awareness? Share your Progyny experience here.