Episode 205: Love & Surrogacy: A Broken Brown Egg AHA Grant Winner's Story

When Kristina and Lorenzo set out to build their family, they knew their path wouldn’t be traditional. Kristina’s complex medical history including epilepsy, endometriosis, and thalassemia made pregnancy unsafe, but that didn’t stop them from pursuing their dream of having a child.

In this episode, they share their deeply personal journey of sacrifice in pursuit of a surrogate—highlighting the emotional highs and lows along the way, from downsizing their apartment to postponing their wedding. They open up about the importance of trust in the surrogacy process and the unwavering love and support they’ve found in each other; Kristina and Lorenzo remind us there is more than one way to build a family.

Thanks to the AHA Grant from The Broken Brown Egg and Progyny, they are one step closer to making their dream a reality. They offer heartfelt advice for others navigating the complexities of infertility, emphasizing the power of advocacy, community, and perseverance.

Applications for the latest cycle of AHA Grants can be found at www.thebrokenbrownegg.org, starting April 8th!

Guests: Kristina King and Lorenzo Bellard, AHA Grant Recipients

Host: Dan Bulger, Progyny

For more information, visit Progyny’s Podcast page and Progyny’s Education page for more resources. Be sure to follow us on Instagram, @ThisisInfertilityPodcast and use the #ThisisInfertility. Have a question, comment, or want to share your story? Email us at thisisinfertility@progyny.com.

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/lQNMKxLcvQs

Here are some highlights from this episode:

Surrogacy & Sacrifices

Kristina King: Unfortunately, the only medications that do control my seizures are not safe for carrying your own child, and then I also have endometriosis, fibroids, polyps, and a blood condition called thalassemia, and the endometriosis actually led to me having a pretty serious iron deficiency— anemia that right now is only kept at bay with an IUD. So, they sort of all work against each other. So, when we went into the process of thinking of building a family, we had to consult my regular OBGYN, my neurologist, my hematologist, my primary care physician, and then a reproductive endocrinologist, whether it was adoption or IVF or possibly surrogacy.

I also chose to be kind of vocal about my journey because I wanted to show other people that you can do it just as a normal middle class young couple, we’re trying our best. Downsized our apartment. We sold off all of our extra belongings that we didn’t need. We are applying for grants. We have considered all of the loans we could take out. We are not having a wedding right now, because the money that we would have put towards our wedding is going towards the baby, the money we were going to put towards a house is going to the baby. So having a surrogacy journey, at least for us, equals a lot of sacrifice.

We’re in the talks with someone now about surrogacy, but it’s in the really early stages. I think I’m going to be one of those people who just knows when I meet the person. I think it’s going to be a lot of intangibles. They say you have to be willing to trust this person to, you know, babysit the most important thing that you’ve ever created for nine months. So, definitely someone that we feel like we can trust.

Love & Partnership

Lorenzo Bellard: I’ve called her since a champ, because she is, she is a champion for this. And I think as we’ve gone through the process, she’s felt even more compelled to be champion for others who’ve gone through this process. But she is very open about it. She’s been very honest about her feelings and patient with me as I go through this process with her. Because it takes a lot of.. you have to remove your ego from a lot of this stuff as well. And I feel like she’s been a great example around that. You have just been Miss Consistent through all of this.

Kristina King: I mean, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to find the words to thank you enough for the way you’ve been with me. I don’t think there could be a more supportive partner. From I’m going to throw some fun little things out there for the camera, but from playing the Rocky music to get me out of the bedroom when I was crying for my first shot during IVF, to literally sleeping at my bedside when I was in the hospital for three days straight. Like you’re everything. Like, there has not been a single time you like, have not been there, like you are just… You’re such a rock. And I know that I get overwhelmed a lot because I want this baby right now but the great part about you is that you calm me down, and I am so confident that we will have this baby one day that it makes me able to stay the course.

Broken Brown Egg — AHA Grant

Kristina King: We are so lucky to be the recipients of the [BBE AHA] grant. If you did not get to apply this year, please apply next year, because it is a game changer. If you’re doing surrogacy like us, when you break it down into what 10 grand can pay for, you know, it can pay for your lawyer fees, or it can pay for the medical expenses at a clinic, or pay to open your escrow account, something like that, so it can make a very big difference.