This time of year can be magical, but it can also come with stress, especially when family gatherings include tough conversations or well-meaning but intrusive questions like, “When are you starting a family?”
In this episode, we’re joined by Dr. Georgia Witkin, clinical psychologist and infertility expert. She shares practical advice on handling the holidays so you can enjoy the season. She’ll walk us through her empowering pre-holiday checklist with strategies to navigate the holiday gathering; from preparing thoughtful responses for tough questions, to leaning into moments that bring you peace and joy.
Whether it’s finding ways to stay present or exploring new traditions that work for you, this episode is about helping you reclaim the holidays on your terms. And stick around for Dr. Witkin’s answers to your personal questions.
Guest: Dr. Georgia Witkin, Clinical Psychologist, Infertility Expert, and Head of Patient Services Development at Progyny
Host: Dan Bulger, Progyny
For more resources on Mental Health and the Holidays, watch our latest webinar: Supporting emotional wellness: Navigating boundaries and stress while on a family building journey
For more information, visit Progyny’s Podcast page and Progyny’s Education page for more resources. Be sure to follow us on Instagram, @ThisisInfertilityPodcast and use the #ThisisInfertility. Have a question, comment, or want to share your story? Email us at thisisinfertility@progyny.com.
This episode is also a video! Watch it here:
Planning for Uncomfortable Questions
01:12 – 03:21
If fertility is an issue and you’re planning to spend time with your friends and family who already know about your issue:
- Be ready to let them know that you are not to blame for the problems.
If your sister-in-law tells you to “just relax” and you’ll get pregnant, explain that infertility causes stress, and not the other way around.
- Practice answers to difficult or insensitive questions: Your answers can be funny, they can be serious, they can be self-protective, they can be self-revealing. It doesn’t matter, as long as you feel ready, and you’re not taken by surprise.
- Give yourself permission to tell others only what you want them to know, and only when and if you decide to share it, remember you can always tell you can never un-tell.
- If you’re going with a partner or have a close family member or friend at the event:
Create a signal word so they know that they can jump in and redirect a conversation when you need that, or help you find an exit.
Do What Makes You Feel Best
03:22 – 05:36
- Get some psychological distance by looking at your family and friends as if you have never met them before.
Pretend, you’re just making notes about them, you’re writing a book, you’re writing a movie about them. You become more of an observer, and maybe even give you a laugh instead of getting annoyed.
- If you decide you really have to skip a family event or any event, there are other things you can do instead.
Make dates with friends who don’t have children. So, you can play games that would be too hard for kids. You can watch movies that kids wouldn’t understand or appreciate, and you can eat food that you’d never want kids to have.
- Accept that you have no control over the past or the future. So instead of reliving the past or pre-living what may happen in the future.
Make a deal with yourself to be in the present during this holiday. Take the opportunity every time it’s offered to you to play, to laugh, they are nature stress relievers, and they all actually release mood elevating brain chemicals.